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About Varied / Hobbyist MajdaFemale/Croatia Recent Activity
Deviant for 8 Years
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deviation in storage by myusernameistaken2



You´re here one day, the next you´re not. We´ve all heard that one. Right?

In a distant corner of my mind
I somehow hoped to meet you someday

It will never happen now.

I´ve known you from around
I´ve felt your energy
The vibe that followed wherever you would go.

I could see you just passing by
I could see you partying out
I could catch just a glimpse of you from the corner of my eye
....when you´d most likely accidentally glance my way...
Always the same feeling.

So serious
So deep
So intense
So good

I´ve never met you face to face
Introduced myself to you
But ´ve seen you around from such a young age.

I had a girly "what if" crush on you for a while.
Somehow we shared some interests and in the past years I´ve seen more of you.
I´ve seen you in unexpected places.
I don´t know anything about you.
I had no idea you had siblings.

Your parents never expected they would have to bury their child at the age of only twenty three.

My boyfriend is twenty three. Some of my cousins are twenty three.
My friends...

You were so talented, so special.
I didn't know you personally.
But I felt it.

It´s not so strange.
You had so much in you
...anyone could see it
When you walked into a crowded room, everyone knew it.
When you´d walk out, everyone knew.
Not just because you were taller than most and stood out physically.

Sometimes you looked so lonely and distant.
But I think you were just in your own mindset.
You saw the world differently... Special...
You also didn't give a flying fuck most of the time.

You just lived.

You ran
You jumped
You flipped
You kicked
You drew
You photographed
You partied
You made friends
You loved
You smiled
You probably cried
You were twenty three
You lived

You are gone
You are gone forever

I´ll never get to experience your company first hand
I can only listen to stories about you
I can only watch the souls you have personally touched
I can only sit here and selfishly cry because I´ll never talk to you.

My "what if" crush flew away.

Such a special being is now jumping and flipping around Heaven.
Looking down at everyone and rolling his eyes at the sappiness.

It´s how life goes people.

His job here was done.
We just need time to let it set in.

I can only imagine what others got from you.
If I, a mere pass by could gather so much from the outside.

Thank you for being alive.
Thank God for letting me sense such energy, if only in glimpses.
Oh, sure. There is the status thing but I still can't change my damn username for free -.-
We have statuses now? OMG! I've "only" been gone for a year!!!! 😨
  • Mood: Tired
  • Reading: The Fault in our Stars (DAMN YOOOUUUUU!!!!)
I´m aliiiiiiiiveeeeeeeee! 
2 years man...2 years gone... I thought it was more xD
So far, I´m in my 2nd year of college(hating it to be honest..but what can ya do...I´ve come this far so..), boyfriend-less(let´s not get into that discussion...), 3-4years into Zumba (gon´ be getting my license soon!!! La la la la  as well as my aerobics instructor certificate-like in November..but that´s soon enough  Nuu  ), <-- I´m getting more and more into this fitness/aerobics thing and LO-VING-IT!!!! Woohooooo! , I have a job at the local movie theater since last year( it can get beyond exhausting and frustrating-people are such ungrateful and rude pigs- but I still love it-or rather I love the people that work with me ..and the fact that I can sneak in and watch movies Psychotic )...what else? OH! I´m way more happy than I used to be. I checked back on some of my last posts and uploads.... I remember the dark cloud that hoovered over my head back then...Man life felt so pointless (anyone else might not see it when reading my stuff..but I definitely remember..I was just unable to express myself properly-just look at my spelling from back then * flinches* Fear ) But you know what... I grew a pair and decided to tell people to fuck the fuck off. Yup! Mostly the problem was my family...well-You just stop answering the phone and when they talk you think of butterflies and sunshine and how that's THEIR opinion and not yours or other peoples(outside of family that surround you and actually support you unlike them..)-also the fitness/aerobic helps me kick the frustration out (Zumba, BodyAttack,BodyBalance,BodyCombat and Body Weight Conditioning-lots of bodies I know xD). It could also be because of these Bach Drops(Bach Flower Remedies) thingies my gm got me to take....
Whatever it is I´m LOVING IT!!!! :squee:  
I still have my down moments ( when I´m around my dad too much or my gran) but it´s not half as bad as it used to be. I get really pissed off (I was alone with my dad for a week..I swear to God i was THAT close to pushing him over the balcony or giving into alcohol..or SOMETHING :stinkeye: - I never thought about hurting anyone before...But I wanted to kill him I swear to god i did.....I just.. I can´t handle him , I don't want to...But there is nothing I can do... He´s not even doing anything specifically wrong-most of the time...but since I've learned about him what I did.. I can´t even look at him and even the way he eats pisses me off...-.-) BUT I just walk away, take a few deep breaths and focus on other things... GOOD things. And I´m okay again Strong! 
You know what? I like where I´m at now (not minding the few little annoyances), and I´m so happy that I can say "I decided to change when I was 18.. and I DID IT!" I mean it´s still a work in progress but I cant explain how much weight was lifted off my shoulders, and how much easier life is... There were bad days when I thought I´d be stuck in this loop hole for ever...Like when I got really really sick at the end of my senior year, then I got better but a few months later my pet bunny died and then not even half a year later my grandpa died...and it was one of those "COME ON? SERIOUSLY?! WHAT ELSE?!" moments....oh yeah, and almost didn´t get into college again-well rather, I tried all my options(that I wanted) and none of them worked out so now I´m stuck in this shit hole... BUT- I met awesome people and I think I might know what I want to do in life-career vise...So it ain´t all black Sun 
Atm I just finished(yaaay 2am) some power point presentation for class tomorrow and I´m sooooooooooo sleepy...Stupid Me!  well, as long as we´re on that topic I should probably go sleep so I can proofread the damn thing in the morning.... *yawn*
It´s good to be back Slow  (Maybe I´ll even god forbid write something..or draw.... Bucktooth )


Artist | Hobbyist | Varied
Current Residence: Croatia/Rijeka
Favourite genre of music: I listen to everything...
Favourite photographer: MEEE =P
Personal Quote: *Whaaaaat?* *beeacuseeeee?* *yeeeaaaa...*

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Sagatio Featured By Owner Feb 18, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
ilturnyouifyouturnme Featured By Owner Feb 18, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
Sagatio Featured By Owner Feb 19, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
ilturnyouifyouturnme Featured By Owner Feb 19, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
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Sagatio Featured By Owner May 6, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
I saw you visiting my page.

ilturnyouifyouturnme Featured By Owner May 6, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Sagatio Featured By Owner May 6, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
ilturnyouifyouturnme Featured By Owner May 7, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
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ilturnyouifyouturnme Featured By Owner May 6, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Heeeey! :D
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